


The Crown's Liaison

by 1_NoName_among_many



Category: Widdershins (Webcomic)
Genre: Blake & Bryony are not good siblings, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Here at least, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mal /is/ a good friend though, So I guess it balances out, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28402026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1_NoName_among_many/pseuds/1_NoName_among_many
Summary: We meet a certain pair of someones. Don't get attached.
Relationships: Jack O'Malley & Ben Thackerey
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	The Crown's Liaison

Ben was busy sweeping up the main hall of the Witch House. It was a big room in a bigger house, so he was seriously contemplating hiring a housekeeper, maybe even a staff. With the stipend from the city, they could afford it now! They'd never get it as clean as Ben would like, of course. But then, no one would - and with a house this big, neither would he.  
His reverie was interrupted by a faintly familiar knock at the door. He hadn't heard that pattern since - oh no.  
"Blake, Bryony."  
"Benji darling! What are you doing here?" Bryony exclaimed as the twins barged in.  
"Please do come in," Ben said a little belatedly, and more than a little sarcastically. _No, don't bother wiping your feet off on the mat, I _love_ mopping up after you,_ he thought with vitriol. "I happen to live here," he said instead.  
"Oh dear," Blake exclaimed in turn. "Don't tell me you've fallen on such hard times you've become housekeeper for the Witch!"  
"He happens to be a close personal friend," Ben said.  
"Oh, Benji," Bryony dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "You don't honestly believe that, do you? You know what they say about Witches."  
"'They' say a lot of things," Ben said. "Which particular thing are 'they' saying this time?"  
"That witches can't have friends, only pets," Blake said in a whisper that matched his sister's. "You know, because they don't have souls."  
Ben kept his face perfectly, practicedly neutral, though he was sure his spirit was blowing angry fireworks to make Wrath cower. "I presume you are here in your official capacity as Crown's Liaison?"  
"Yes, of course," the twins agreed together.  
"Then I'd suggest you don't say stuff like that," Ben said. "He's very touchy about his lack of a spirit face."  
"Of course, of course," the twins dismissed, again in stereo.  
"O'Malley!" Ben shouted up the stairs. "A couple of wizards are here to see you!"  
"Tell 'em I'm not home!" Mal shouted back.  
Ben sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  
"Uh, this is a recording!" Mal added.  
Ben sighed again. "Well, you heard the recording," he said, turning to his siblings, "he's not home."  
In response, the twins merely looked at him disapprovingly.  
"Worth a shot," Ben shrugged, then he turned back up the stairs and shouted, "They're not buying it, get down here!"  
"Alright, alright!" Mal's characteristic trudge could be heard making its way down the stairs.  
"And you might want to shield your eyes!" Ben added, almost in afterthought. It's not like he'd ever forget just how much more capable his older siblings were than he. For one, they never let him forget it.  
Mal appeared at the top of the stairs. "Jeez! You weren't kiddin'! Brightest pair of blighters I ever seen!"  
The twins barged up the stairs. _No, don't bother about your boots, I _love_ mopping stairs!_  
"Hello, Mr. O'Malley," Blake exclaimed, firmly grasping Mal's hand and shaking vigorously, "I'm Blake Thackerey!"  
When he finished, Bryony took her turn with Mal's hand, "And I'm Bryony Thackerey!"  
"Gorram!" Mal exclaimed. "Wait for me to get down first! Look at the mess you've made!"  
"Oh, it's alright," Blake airily dismissed. "Benji loves to clean!"  
"He's been coming after us with a bucket and mop since he was two!" Bryony added.  
Mal did his best to look around the glare of the twins. Given the knowing look Mal gave him, Ben was convinced his aura was brighter than the twins through sheer force of anger.  
"Why are you here?" Mal asked.  
"We are the Crown's Liaison to the City, Anchor and Witch of Widdershins," Blake announced.  
"The Crown's Liaison, for short," Bryony added.  
"A title, we are proud to say, that has been in our family for generations!" Blake continued.  
"Our father retired recently, so we inherited it," Bryony clarified.  
Ben rolled his eyes behind the twins' backs.  
"Okay..." Mal said. "What, exactly, does this Crown's Lie-Ale-Son do?"  
The twins laughed. A haughty, pretentious affair.  
"The Crown's Li _ai_ son," Bryony articulated, "is the person or persons who stand between the Crown and the Witch."  
"Basically, we represent you to the King," Blake summarized.  
"Thanks, but no thanks," Mal said. "If I want to talk to the King, I'll do it direct-like."  
The twins laughed again. If anything, it was haughtier and pretentious-er.  
"Whoever told you you could do a silly thing like that?" Bryony inquired.  
"My lawyer," Mal answered.  
That shut the twins down cold.  
"And don't tell me you didn't know , 'cause yer brother over there did, and I wouldn't want you two to embarrass yourselves."  
"Er, well, you see," Blake stammered.  
"It's like, well," Bryony added, equally inarticulate.  
Ben sighed, and bailed out his twin siblings. "The Crown's Liaison is the one who schedules the private audiences. Both the King and the Witch are very busy running their respective kingdoms - Britain in the first case, the spirit realm in the second - that it sometimes takes a while for schedules to clear on both sides. If an emergency were to happen, it's the Crown's Liaison's job to relay that information and advise the other party on what to do. Further, if the Witch doesn't feel like performing a public ceremony or other function, the Crown's Liaison is one of two substitutes, the other being the Mayor of Widdershins."  
"Yes, of course," Blake affirmed.  
"That's exactly our job," Bryony confirmed.  
"Huh," Mal said. "And do I get to choose my Lie-A-Son?"  
"Of course not," Blake denied.  
"It's called the _Crown's_ Liaison for a reason," Bryony clarified.  
"But if the Crown doesn't respect the wishes of the Witch and the Anchor, Bad Things happen," Ben said. "Multiple Bad Things."  
"Oh yeah, like with George the Third, or Anne the Only, or Charles the First, or Mary the Bloody," Mal added. The witch turned to the twin wizards and said, with no small satisfaction, "You're fired!"  
"WHAT!" the twins cried.  
"You can't do that!" Blake pleaded.  
"I just did," Mal said.  
"But who will be the Crown's Liaison?" Bryony demanded.  
"I choose Ben," Mal said.  
"WHAT!" the twins cried again.  
"But he's barely a wizard!" Bryony ejaculated.  
"Practically a nobody!" Blake added, equally incensed.  
Mal's teeth ground together so hard, you could hear it across the room. Ben was afraid they'd crack. "Tell me, you two idiots got stuck in the mirrors, didn't you?" Mal asked.  
The look on their faces, and presumably their spirits, was all the answer the witch needed.  
"D'you know who saved your sorry -rses?" Mal demanded. "That barely-a-wizard, practically-a-nobody you call a _brother_! And d'you know how? Because you two bastards have been putting him down since the day he was born, shredding his pride till he didn't have a scrap! Not even the _good_ stuff! And I do not want _anyone_ who would do something so _vile_ to their own brother - their own _family!_ \- representing me to the King! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"  
The cowering twins ran for the door their little brother had thoughtfully opened for them, tracking the last of the mud on their boots onto the rug.  
Ben sighed at the mess.  
"Go ahead an' say it," Mal encouraged, "I know you want to."  
"No, don't bother avoiding the rug, I _love_ washing out rugs."

**Author's Note:**

> If you think about it, even discounting the whole "personal friend of the witch" thing, Ben is, in fact, the better choice for Crown's Liaison. Discounting the bit where he actually remembers the duties of the position as my invention, he alone of the Thackerey siblings - or any non-witch, for that matter - knows what it's like to have the witch's sight, and he personally defeated two deadly sins - Pride and Sloth, to those counting - which is more than his siblings - or anyone else, for that matter.


End file.
